It is considered thatwe have all been shy at times in our lives. However, shyness is not a pathology or a problem of too great importance in most cases.
Moreover, shyness is a shield of protection that locks us, in order not to feel pain, although it can sometimes produce the opposite effect.
Being shy does not mean being tasteless. Being shy is another way of being, with its peculiarities and characteristics.
The evolution of shyness
The evolution of shyness, throughout life, is something very interesting. The fact of being interested makes it possible to develop a better knowledge of oneself.
Many of us have experienced a shift from openness to others as children, to greater shyness in adulthood.
This change is often generated by actions or public displays that make us anxious or where others make us feel uncomfortable.
"The most common cause of shyness is the reflection of excessive self-esteem"
Shyness is therefore not a hereditary genetic factor but a component of personality which, even if influenced by temperament, will be much more conditioned by the social interactions we have.
Thus, we must take into account all its aspects and its evolution to better understand it.
Exposing oneself publicly always involves subjecting one's skills and abilities to the judgments of others. It is during adolescence and youth that we are most afraid of being evaluated, judged and criticized.
If we go through a sensitive period and we add a public exhibition during which the others are not very sympathetic or even disrespectful, then, our social self can feel a great sense of vulnerability and be conditioned alone for similar future situations.
Thus, to protect ourselves from this vulnerability, we lock ourselves in fear of what others might think, regardless of the fact that it is something we can never be 100% sure of.
Shyness annoys us?
Shyness is a trait of personality that should not be especially problematic. But when does it really become a problem?
- When it causes a great psychological harm.
- When it prevents us from achieving professional goals because of the fear of teamwork.
- When it stops us from asking for help when we need it.
- When we would like to know a person and we do not do it because of this damn shyness.
Shyness can show us as unsympathetic or insecure people, but also as cautious, mysterious and pleasant people.
If you become aware that shyness is a mistake in your personality, you will realize that you will feel much less psychological pressure and things will go much more naturally.
The important thing is that even with your introverted character, you can establish cordial relationships with others.
Aspects that will help you overcome shyness
- A better knowledge of yourself, to find out what are the situations that make you anxious. You must try to think about it and find common points.
- Learn to manage anxiety and stress through breathing and relaxation techniques.
- Practice, practice and practice. This is the best medicine.
- Exposure to situations of relationships with others. If something goes wrong, do not give too much importance to it.
- Choose a nice and close audience to do your first try before speaking in public.Thus, you will become familiar with aspects as simple as voice modulation, gestures, pronunciation, volume and tone.
The timidity that makes us embarrassed can improve but remember that it can also be an enchanting quality, which does not make you tasteless, simple or without social qualities.
It's just another way of communicating and having social relationships.