It would seem that we are the worst judges towards ourselves, and even the worst executioners! We would even care better about others than about ourselves.
Maybe we are too demanding of ourselves, that we do not forgive ourselves for our mistakes and that it costs us a lot to love ourselves.
It is then essential to learn to love oneself, to respect oneself and to accept oneself as we are, as we do to the people around us. By working on yourself, it is easier to tackle our relationships with others.
Some may say that they are very demanding of themselves so that they do not go idle or because they need limits to keep moving forward.
On the other hand, it is not good to constantly dwell on what we have done wrong or what we could improve. We should start by being less strict about ourselves and allow ourselves to make mistakes from time to time.
We want to show others that we are strong, determined and brave, like a superhero or a wonderful woman. We prefer to hide our fears, our doubts and the fact that we are not so happy.
This mask that we wear does not help us, because when comes the moment when we find ourselves alone, we become the most unfair and hard people on the planet and we accept no error on our part.
How to become tender again towards ourselves?
To say to oneself "I love myself" is not synonymous with narcissism, but of self-acceptance, as we are. Here are some tips that can help you be more tender towards yourself:
1. Assume that you are mistaken.Nobody is perfect and nobody knows everything about everything. You make mistakes, just like the others, because you are human. Relativize, do not make a mountain of these mistakes, put things into perspective.
If one of your gestures or words does not help you anymore, pay attention to it next time, analyze the situation and determine how you can solve it.
What would have happened if one of your friends or family member made the same mistake? Convince yourself that the world will not stop turning, and that it is not the end of the world if you are wrong.
2. Do not ignore the pain, sadness, fear, suffering, despair, depression … that is all the harm you feel.
Hiding in front of others may be helpful on some occasions, but there comes a time when you have to face your feelings and emotions.
You are able to tolerate that your best friend feels bad or that your half is in a bad time, but you can not tell you "today, I feel sad" or "I am depressed" because you want at all costs to distance this feeling, to hide it and not to have to settle it. But know that it only makes things worse.
3. Treat yourself the same way you would do with people you love : imagine that you are in the kitchen with your son and that he wants to help you place the table.
He takes a drink but drops it to the ground and it breaks into a thousand pieces. What would you say to him? If he cut himself or crying, you would comfort him, you would tell him that he did not do it on purpose and that this is a mistake that anyone could commit.
Now, what would happen if instead of your son, you even broke that glass into a thousand pieces? I'm sure your first reaction would be to think that you are an incapable person and that you never do anything right.
Compare these two situations and imagine how the child would feel if you told him the same thing you said to yourself or if you were more understanding.
4. Being in a bad perioddoes not mean that bad luck will never go away. We all have moments that we want to forget, which hurt us, where nothing goes as planned and where we feel we are confused.
Beyond these bad, unfortunate and adverse things is the opportunity to come out brilliantly, and win a battle against these negative waves.
There will always be beautiful things to make up for the worst moments of our lives. Stop for a few minutes to think about those things you're grateful for … you'll find there's so much more than you thought!
Do not be your worst enemy. Become your ally and your companion.