It is very important to learn to say nootherwise, one risks losing control of one's life and filling oneself with hatred by not acting as one would like. Perhaps some people think that to say no is to be a bad person, and to say no is unpleasant. However, it is sometimes necessary to know how to set limits and not give in to manipulation or emotional blackmail.
What is discussed in this article is assertiveness, in other words the ability to be sure of oneself and therefore to be able to say no whenever it is necessary.
It is not a question of being a selfish person who does not give the least importance to the needs of others, but to find a balance between two extremes: always say yes, and always say no.
The rights of others are as important as ours, and that is why we must try to be assertive and know when to say no and when, on the contrary, you have to say yes and agree to do what others ask us to do.
It is a question of knowing how to defend one's own rights, without having the intention of hurting or harming anyone.
How to be more assertive?
The most important thing is to feel that something is being brought to society and that we deserve respect. Furthermore, we must have solid principles and be familiar with our scale of values in order to have a clear idea of what we want to do, and what we do not want to do.
When you say no, you have to forget the fear and the feeling of guilt. Fear, it must be overcome in the only way possible, namely by confronting what scares you. As for guilt, that's something you've integrated that's more about the social realm.
However, if you have well-established principles, then you can say no, knowing exactly why, which will give you the confidence you need.
If you are fully aware of why you say no and think before acting, then there is no place for guilt, since it is your convictions that will have guided you in your decision-making.
What is the profile of a person who is not very assertive?
A person who is not very assertive avoids conflict at all costs and needs to pleaseso that it acts to the detriment of its own desires and needs. According to her, to be accepted by others, you must never say no.
It always ends up being manipulated, since it does things that it does not necessarily want to do and that go against its own principles. What drives it to behave this way is the fear of rejection and the inability to assert one's own ideas.
However, we must not confuse a person who is not very assertive and a person who consciously and willingly decides to devote his life to helping others, sometimes putting aside his own needs. In this case, it is a free and personal choice and in the end, the person feels deeply satisfied and happy.
A person who is not very assertive also sacrifices his own well-being, but as far as he is concerned, it is not voluntary: it is his fears that push him to behave in this way, and that does not finally establish anything else at home. than a deep sense of personal dissatisfaction.