To not answer. Ironical. Say we can never talk with us. Condescend as if we were children. We threaten with ultimatums.The signs of psychological manipulation in communication and language are as varied as they are interesting.It is a form of mental exploitation and emotional abuse that we must learn to recognize.
Licio Gelli was one of the darkest men in Italy's history. This agent of the Masonic Lodge Propaganda Due was a neo-fascist specialized in the manipulation of the masses. This sinister character once said that to control someone, it was enough to know how to communicate.Language is a weapon and the most perverse strategy to dominate,he stated.
"Thought corrupts language and language can also corrupt human relationships."
We all know it perfectly. We know that in the political sphere, in the world of advertising and in this great universe that forms themass media,manipulation is used almost constantly to seduce us, to influence our decisions and, ultimately, to control us.But things get a little more complex and obscure when the private domain is concerned.
We are talking about this small, intimate and close circle that we form with ours. With our family, our companion, our friends …The signs of psychological and emotional manipulation circulate between us in an almost constant but camouflaged way.Moreover, it is possible that we ourselves apply them unconsciously. It is therefore essential to know how to detect and react to them.
If language is the habit of thoughts, let us think more delicately. We must understand that the way we say things is as important as the content of the message.
- 1 Signs of psychological manipulation in communication
- 2 1. Handling the facts
- 3 2. You will be told that it is impossible to speak with you
- 4 3. Intellectual harassment
- 5 4. Ultimatums and little time to decide
- 6 5. The person very often pronounces our name during the conversation
- 7 6. Irony and black humor
- 8 7. The use of silence or evasions
- 9 8. Feign ignorance: "I do not understand what you mean"
- 10 9. We will let you talk first
- 11 Techniques of psychological manipulation of which you could be a victim
Signs of psychological manipulation in communication
When we talk about psychological manipulation in communication, we see a first thing happen: an imbalance in the relationship.To manipulate means to use the language in one's favor, not only to control the other but also to do harm.For it is the most visceral emotions that set in motion the mechanism of this aggression.
Aldous Huxley said words can be like X-rays. If they are used in a Machiavellian way, they can go through everything: the other's self-esteem, dignity and even identity. Let's learn to see them arrive, to understand a little better this dynamic so destructive on a personal level.
1. Handling the facts
Any expert in psychological manipulation in communication is a great strategist in distorting the truth.He will always turn it in his favor and lessen his share of responsibility to project all the guilt in us. Moreover, he will use exaggeration and keep the key information to further simplify the facts and make sure that the balance always leans towards "its truth".
2. You will be told that it is impossible to speak with you
This sentence is simple, direct and effective.If someone tells us "it's impossible to talk to us," he avoids precisely what he does not want: talk about this problem.Thus, it is customary for us to be told that we are too emotional, that we always take everything too much to heart and that lately it has become very difficult to talk with us. These people project something they are sorely lacking: communicative skills.
3. Intellectual harassment
The psychological and emotional manipulator also uses a very common communicative strategy. This is intellectual harassment, which is only aimed atwe bring a considerable amount of arguments, information, facts and complex reasoning to convince us of one thing through exhaustion and information overload.
4. Ultimatums and little time to decide
"If you do not accept what I propose to you, it's the end, I'll give you until tomorrow to think about what I told you." This type of communication strategy is very painful and distressing. We are put back on the wall, which creates anxiety and plunges us into states of great emotional suffering.
It is necessary to understand that someone who truly respects and loves us will never use these all-or-nothing threats.This is another very common manipulation strategy.
5. The person very often pronounces our name during the conversation
When, in a conversation or an argument, someone pronounces our name almost continuously and exaggerated, he is using a very clever control mechanism. By doing this,he forces the other person to pay attention to him and at the same time plunges him into a constant state of intimidation.
6. Irony and black humor
The irony and use of this sense of humor that humiliates, ridicules and denigrates us is another sign of psychological manipulation in communication.The aggressor or the manipulator tries to make us feel very small and to impose his supposed psychological superiority on us.
7. The use of silence or evasions
I do not want to talk about it. It is not the moment. Why are you talking about this now? …This type of dynamic is very recurrent in affective relationships, especially if one of the parties lacks communicative skills, willingness and a sense of responsibility.
8. Feign ignorance: "I do not understand what you mean"
It's a very classic tactic.That which consists in doing the one who does not understand what the other wants to say or do.It means playing with the other person by making them see that it makes things too complicated, that it takes the conversation to a level that does not make sense. We are faced with a classic passive-aggressive manipulator strategy that avoids assuming responsibility and seeking to hurt the other.
9. We will let you talk first
Among the most delicate signs of psychological manipulation to perceive in communication, we find that of the person who tries to make us speak first.Thanks to this strategy, she manages to do several things. First, save time to prepare your argument and, secondly, find our weak points.
Moreover, it is usual that after listening to us, the emotional manipulator avoids exposing his ideas or opinions. He can limit himself to asking us questions, to exploring points which, far from being useful to a possible agreement,seek to reveal our faults, direct the problem on its own ground and make us look clumsy, weak or exaggerating all the time.
To conclude, while there are many other strategies for psychological and emotional manipulation in the field of human communication, these are certainly the most common.These are forms of intimidation that not only prevent any possibility of establishing an effective dialogue but also serve to subdue the other,to trap him at all levels: personal, emotional and mental.
Let's learn to recognize these behaviors.