You have probably seen a couple arguing frequently, everyday, even lacking respect. You will agree with me that the first thing you wonder about in such a situation is: Why do they stay together?
Things are not always as they look in a relationship. I learned one day that "all that glitters is not gold".
Out of the inner circle, people can show a very different face than they actually are in their daily lives. For example, in a couple, the person who appears most dependent may actually be the dominant person in the relationship and take the opposite role to the one we perceive as spectators.
It is true that when we have problems or detect negative situations, our rational part reacts by avoiding such experiences simply to survive.
But studies are numerous, and they already show that fear or anger can be a form of connection.
Even taking into account the results of this research, we can say that in some cases, anger may be more powerful to maintain a united couple than love itself.
When we have a relationship, we look for characteristics that make it a harmonious experience, but this sentimental background is not always at the rendezvous.
Assuming that the basis of a difficult relationship is built between the two people, we will expose you today the 8 reasons why unhappy couples stay together.
1. The feeling of guilt. Many people stay together because there is a feeling of guilt if they leave their partner. These are normally situations that awaken feelings of pain towards the other person.
2. Power games. When there is an unequal distribution of tasks in a relationship or in any other situation, the person who is not so active tends to depend on the other, letting himself be carried away or even emotionally carried away.
If this happens, the person in question will feel lost without the other, who leads the relationship as he or she wants.
3. Do not express what you think or feel. Despite the image that others can give us, all that we see is not necessarily what it looks like. Try it out with yourself.
There are endless moments in which you felt embarrassed, but you had to maintain your neutral posture, not to lose your job, a relationship or simply to not hurt the person who is by your side or to yourself.
If in a relationship you do not feel faithful to yourself in the way you act, or if your partner does not act in a positive way, you may feel frustrated and angry with yourself, because of having to endure this. situation.
When we expel this anger towards our spouse, it allows us to lighten up a bit, temporarily, before that anger comes back and leads us into a vicious and addictive circle.
That's why hiding or not saying what we think or feel will push us to maintain a sometimes unreal relationship.
4. Couples develop tacit agreements, but who do not express themselves formally. Making agreements implied between two spouses, without formal agreement, can make the relationship dangerous, when these silent agreements are intended to allow or avoid habits such as infidelity, excess expenses, bad behavior, etc.
This is why it is fundamental to have good verbal and non-verbal communication in a couple, being transparent and sincere at all times.
5. If there is a form of abuse, there is someone who thinks he deserves it. In most cases, adults voluntarily participate in a relationship, even if it is far from healthy.
The most common reasons for staying together are children, economic reasons, time together, fear and shame of separation, religion, etc.
If we find ourselves in a relationship where there is emotional abuse, one of the members may feel that it deserves to be treated this way.
This situation may change if he internalizes the fact that he does not deserve to suffer emotional abuse from his spouse.
With this new form of feeling and thinking things, you will learn to say no and you will develop a healthy ego, necessary to overcome this situation.
You will finally be aware that no negative situation and no misunderstanding or maltreatment justifies your misfortune.
7. Hope and time. Many people prefer to protect themselves with hopes and time, thus justifying their relationship.
What is certain is that if they have been unhappy together for a long time, change will be more difficult if neither side commits to it and changes its attitudes.
8. Appearance of fear and insecurity about the possibility of leaving. On many occasions, people decide to maintain the relationship in which they are engaged, even when they are not happy, for fear of making the decision to leave the other person or for fear of the next, not knowing how will be life without the other.
Emotionally healthy people know how to positively use their own tools for their purposes.
When you are aware of all the characteristics and emotional situations that can lead you to maintain a negative relationship, you will be able to not be afraid of being alone with your own frustrations and feelings of insecurity.
You know yourself, you are aware of your barriers, and even better, you feel free to love and be loved in return.