Pto affirm that difficult situations, or which have generated great suffering in us, are solved alone with time is a mistake. Not acting impulsively or thinking about something else is often insufficient. Suffering will not be able to stop altogether if the problem or trauma is not treated and closed again, even if the weather may fade slightly.
Stay permanently in painor avoid it are usually not good solutions. These painful experiences require active digestion. In other words, understand them fully and influence the consequences they will leave in our lives.
Life gets complicatedoften in case of unresolved emotional suffering. The bad character becomes chronic, the immune system weakens and the maintenance of concentration requires great effort. You feel bad but we can not identify the source of this discomfort. These are signs that we need to do something with our past.
” If you can not change a situation that causes you pain, you can always choose the attitude with which you face this suffering.”-Viktor Frankl-
1. Difficulty managing anger
This is one of the most common signs of unresolved emotional suffering. Our life filters a kind of constant irritation.We get angry for everything. Disputes or conflicts with the othersbecome frequent. We are in a bad mood at all times and nothing manages to take it away.
It is as if we feel an underlying anger that is not fading.Our expressionsof anger become disproportionate. We frequently explode with violence. We sometimes propose to change, but without success. In addition, we spend our days apologizing, getting angry with ourselves. We are looking for reasons to justify our anger. Unresolved emotional pain may be the essence of the problem.
Our relationships with others sometimes change imperceptibly. Others seem suddenly boring, unworthy of attention or downright intolerable.It becomes difficult to perceive positive in those around us. We tend to quantify their faults.
We sometimes want to go out and hang out with someone, but we regret it just before we do it, and we go to bed.We findan apology for not sharing anything with those with whom we used to do it. On the other hand, we feel that we prefer loneliness, but without feeling good when we are alone.
3. Personal negligence
A person who loves himself, values himself and her own, takes care of herself and what she has. We do here reference to the external appearance but also to the details that make up the routine. Meal times, for example, can become random.
Something similar happens with rest. We sleep a lot or too little. NOTohis normal habits seem to suffer from a lack of control. Some people are also starting to become involved in situations that involve physical risk or danger to their personal integrity.
4. Desperation, a sign of unresolved emotional suffering
Despair is the feeling of having a compass that does not work, which does not indicate north. It also implies that nothing will change in the future, the idea that the situation is bad and that it will continue to be so, whatever we do.We look forward and see only an eternal repetition of the same thing. We have no interest, no enthusiasm for what will happen.
This feeling of hopelessness can be sporadic or permanent.It can generate the feeling that we are about to lose our headsor to finish, if it stays for a long time. Getting to this point means we need help.
5. Obsessive thoughts and compulsions
The head fills withunreasonable fears or apprehensions, unlikely in case of unresolved emotional suffering. It sometimes becomes obsessive. For example, we begin to believe that there will be a fire in our house. We then begin to review, day by day, again and again, the possible origins or causes of this fire that only we imagine.
Compulsive behaviorusually appear as an instant – and short-lived – remedy for obsessions. The compulsions also end up making the person prisoner of his own obsessions because even if it manages to calm them at first, it ends, in the long term, by feeding them.
Many people with unresolved emotional pain are invaded by a feeling of constant fatigue. The latter experiences itself both physically and mentally.It's as if there is no energy at all. As if the smooth slope of old had turned into a stone wall.
This lack of vitality also translates into a more sedentary life. These personsgo to bed to watch TV or take a nap as soon as they have free time. They feel they do not have enough strength to do anything other than save energy to climb walls that suddenly appeared.
7. Lack of desire
Encysted suffering can also erode sexual desire.Not only the interest to have sex, but also the interest of caressing and being. To seduce and be seduced.
The absence of desire therefore makes a source of pleasure disappear. That of a sexual activity, which once gave color to life and even strengthened the bonds within the couple. It is therefore usual for complicity with the other to be endangered by the same threat … just when the person needs the most support.Empathy becomes more difficult just when it is most needed.
All of these characteristics can be signs that there is unresolved emotional suffering. It is in our past. We can sometimes identify the source of this pain, other times not.We are in both cases in a situation that requires professional help. You will be surprised at all the help that a professional can give you.