Being physically separated is not the only way to get away from the people we love. Sometimes, even within a few millimeters of each other, we may feel that the people around us are missing. In relationships,the connection is not only nourished by physical proximity: it also needs exchanges of affection, gestures and intentions.It is therefore important to pay attention to certain attitudes that can separate rather than unite.
You must know thatthis kind of psychological distance that we can feel can be the result of difficulties and problemspersonal or from other people. It is therefore essential to ask ourselves how we are doing and to obtain more information. Regardless of this fact, these situations make us suffer. Let's deepen this idea.
"The most horrifying thing about distance is that you do not know if you will miss people or if they will forget you"
What makes us move away from others?
Since we are beings with social tendencies,only psychological problemscan make us want to be away from others. If someone constantly rejects the company of others, it's because he's probably suffering from difficulties that we do not realize. Pathologically, depression can be one of these causes. In this case, only a specialist can help the person who suffers.
On the other hand,there are other attitudes, reflections of psychological traits, which also determine distancepeople. Although they do not constitute pathologies, these attitudes also affect the proper functioning of interpersonal relationships. Let's study them in more detail.
According to the dictionary, egocentrism is "the exaggerated exaltation of the personality, to the point of considering it as the center of attention and general activities". The egocentric peopleneglect the interests and desires of others because they consider them inferior to theirs.
Therefore, these peopledo not care about the problems of others and do not focus on them.It is difficult to talk to egocentrics because they will deny the existence of any personal problem. On the contrary, they will tend to identify the problem of those who talk to them about their concerns. This will often lead to separation, both physically and emotionally.
In that case,the toxic attitudemanifested by the abuser is reflected directly on the victim. Abuse is defined as "treating someone badly, by words or deeds". This refers to the negative psychological consequences of the person being abused. She sees how far the other is from the image she has formed in her mind. The latter, in turn, moves psychologically away from the abused person because hedoes not take into account his feelings,as if it were an unimportant object.
Nevertheless, this case is quite special. Because if the behaviors and attitudes of the abuser establish a distance from the victim, there is some kind of manipulationwhich prevents, most of the time, that the separation takes place.However, we can say that this type of relationship is completely removed from a conscious, emotional and healthy connection between two people.
Directly linked to abuse, contempt manifests itself in a variety of ways. For example,through an excessive sarcasm that, behind the humor, conceals an intention to hurt the other.It normally results from a feeling of superiority (usually intellectual) of the one who despises.
In fact,contempt can be defined as "disdain" or "detachment",that is to say, a position of removal vis-à-vis the other. It is therefore one of the attitudes that separate more than distance. Treating others as if one were superior is a form of rejection.
This is one of the most common and seemingly harmless attitudes that separate more than distance.Lying means hiding and distorting reality.Put on a mask to hide something that for some reason we do not want to show.
How are we going to trust someone who is lying? How are we going to trust if we lie? It is normal for lies to keep us away from others.It is a boycott of sincerity that damages any attempt to connect with others.By lying, we do not allow others to know us.
This attitude is incredibly harmful to relationships. Not only because shedilutes the meaning of "victim",by losing credibility to real victims, but also because we reject on others a feeling of guilt that is not necessary.
Victimization is a form of self-deceptionand evidence that we have weak self-regulation skills and emotional responsibility. These people use complaints and criticism to survive, blaming others for their misfortunes or other negative feelings.
In connection with contempt and abuse, manipulation results from a supposedintellectual superiority.Manipulators claim to influence the attitudes of others for their own benefit. But when those around them become aware of their practices, a deep rejection breaks out.
As we see, all of these attitudes that separate more than distance are harmful to the proper functioning of interpersonal relationships. So we have to learn to identify them if we want to havehealthy and successful relationships.