Although communicating with others is essential to resolve conflicts or explain our thinking, we do not always do it. However, if there is a field where communication is important, it is that of the couple. How many times have we said "it does not matter"? So, yes, that was something … So we're going to discover right nowsome strategies to put an end to these harmful behaviors and improve communication in a couple.
If we neglect the exchange channels, our couple will probably wear out over time. Distrust, lies, angry outbursts that can not be solved by talking … All this will turn into a major problem.Putting the solution of all that disturbs us in the hands of time will only create remorse and injury.
1. "We'll talk about it later"
The first strategy to improve communication in a couple isto avoid, at all costs, talking about something when the emotions are on edge.When we are angry, the words that come out of our mouth can do a lot of harm to the person we love the most.
A practical exercise that we can perform in this case is to take a notebook or our diary andto write what we feel.It will help us to put our emotions in relief, to manage them and to know what we will want to convey to our spouse when we talk to them later, once we are calmer.
The "it is better that we talk about it later" must be respected. But do not take this advice as an excuse to let the moment fly and never confront it.Share
2. The past is not a weapon
Using certain situations of the past as arguments against our companion is always a temptation.This is a serious mistake. We must always resolve conflicts. If we solve them, there will be no reason to bring them out later in a fight. If not, it means that we have lost an opportunity. But this must not turn an unresolved circumstance into a weapon.
When we learn to improve communication in a couple, we can do an exercise to realize how we talk to each other when we argue. Note, after the argument, everything we said. For example, "you're just an egotist", "you've done it once," "do you remember when you got …?" By doing this,we will detect all these references to the past that we verbally unravel.
3. I listen to you to understand you
Another way to improve communication in a couple is to open your ears.How many times have we witnessed an argument in which both people are talking at the same time without even listening?
If we do not listen to the other person, we can not understand his point of view.This does not mean that we are going to favor it. But only by listening to it can we negotiate and reach an agreement. In the opposite case, we will not reach any understanding and the problem will be enkyster.
4. "I'm direct, I'm not running around the bush"
We should note this sentence to keep it in mind and never forget its meaning.Very often, we do not speak clearly.We use irony, sarcasm or we rely on phrases like "you should know what's happening to me". Should the other person be able to read our thoughts?
Being straightforward and clear in a relationship is essential to avoid and resolve conflicts.If something does not please us, look for the best way to say it smoothly. Let's try to analyze how we feel when we are silent or not direct with our companion. We may feel shame. Or we may think wrongly that the other should know how we feel. Analyzing our behavior and emotions will help us improve communication in the couple.
5. We are a team
The last tip to improve communication in a couple is to think like a team.When conflicts arise, we tend to blame the other. This makes us forget that we are not rivals: we are on the same side. Keep this in mind and we will be able to face problems in a much healthier way.
How do you communicate with your spouse?Do you tend to wait for him / her to guess your thoughts or tell him or her in a clear way? We still make a lot of mistakes when we communicate, whether through ignorance or because we reproduce what our progenitors did. But with these tips, many conflicts will disappear. Just change the way we communicate!
"The most important thing is not to be equal but to form a good team."