No one taught you how to deal with what hurts you directly, just like we could have taught you mathematics at school. Maybe you have always been told "do not cry", "time will heal everything", "all will end up" … But none of this helped you, it made you feel worse . That's why today we offer 5 exercises to help you deal with what hurts you and what you may never have heard of.
Ignoring the pain you feel or trying to ignore is not an option. This emotion needs you to look at it directly, even if it hurts, and you face it so that it does not become cystic and stop eroding our skin for many years.
1. Learn how to release your pain
To do the first exercises to deal with what hurts you, all you need is a pencil or a small object that will not break. Hold it in your hand and squeeze as hard as you can. Now, you will imagine that this object is your emotions, your thoughts, or that person who does not do you any good.
At first, pressing this object will make you feel uncomfortable. But then your hand will end up hurting you. When that happens, let go and let this object, in which you visualized that everything hurt you, fall to the ground. Realize how you were able to release him and how you clung to him. The same goes for all those emotions or the people who are causing you so much pain. You can let them go.
When we cling to certain situations, we consider that they are already part of us even if they hurt us and we are not able to realize that it is we who choose to suffer. At any moment, we can detach ourselves.
2. Observe the way you speak
This second exercise to deal with what hurts you will help you understand how you are talking to yourself. You may think that you do it in a positive way, but you will be surprised when you discover that you are producing more negative thoughts and sentences than you thought. To do it right, we will give you an example.
Imagine that you are at the gym and someone is chatting with you. When you say goodbye, the other person says, "I'm glad to have spoken to you," and you take a lot of time to react. You become a little nervous and a little anxious, "Same for me". When you enter the locker room, you do not stop to think how stupid and ridiculous you are when you talk to other people.
The important thing is that you are aware of all these situations and that as soon as you can, you put yourself in front of a mirror and that you tell yourself what you thought. You will notice how you hit your self esteem again and again without noticing it, simply by undergoing its effects.
3. Get anchored in the present
One way to deal with what hurts you is to practice another exercise to better anchor yourself in the present. You certainly know the technique of mindfulness. So, let's see how you can focus on the present moment, forgetting for a moment the past and the future, because that's where the pain is.
For a week, choose something you want to watch. For example, on Monday, focus on how you breathe on tuesday on how your feet are in contact with the ground on Wednesday on how water rubs against your skin when you wash your hands, wash your dishes or take a shower … Do the same thing for the rest of the days of the week. This will help you appreciate the little things and allow you to let go of what makes you a little worse.
Clinging to what hurts us keeps us from enjoying little things, because everything revolves around this pain that we can release at any time.
4. Imagine the worst
This fourth exercise to deal with what hurts you will allow you to take out the drama of the situation that makes you suffer. Often, emotions so obscure the vision that it seems to us that everything is terrible. That's why you will try to put yourself in the worst position.
Imagine that you and your partner are not doing well. You are clinging to a relationship that has been hurting you for a while and you are having trouble ending it. Sometimes, you clearly see the decision you must make, but the fear overwhelms you and prevents you from taking action. Even if it's hard, imagine the worst.
What could happen worse? Maybe, to be alone, to be different from the rest of your friends because you have no partner, not to be with someone who gives you love as a couple … We suggest you to write all these difficult but not dramatic circumstances.In this way, you will realize that many things that you put in there are not so bad.
For each answer, try to give the reasons why she should hurt you. In some cases you will find that you can not get an answer that is not absurd. In others, you will know that it is true that a situation can hurt, but that if this situation hurts you is that you cling to it.
5. Ask yourself an essential question
Clinging to pain is something that leads you, inexorably, to suffering. Thus, all the exercises to deal with what hurts you can help you to see more clearly what is happening to you and to make a decision that will benefit you.
Finally, the last exercise consists of one essential question: How about someone who is going through the same thing as you? Put yourself in the position where your brother or friend is going through the situation you are going through. The answer to the question you asked yourself will be what you need to apply yourself. This question can help you open your eyes.
"I had to let go and hold on tight."
We tend to cling to pain, turning it into pain. The irony is that we can let go when we want, but to do that, we need to be aware of what we are doing. How many times have you kept in your mind what was hurting you?