Couple relationships are influenced by all these messages who tell us what this type of relationship should look like.
We are beset by a lot of information about what a relationship is, whether through literature, cinema, music, television, advertisements, etc.
Many of these ideas remain rooted in us, so that they rub off on our beliefs, and therefore on our behavior.
Because of these beliefs, we create perspectives and maintain relationships that do not look like what we were hoping for.So, inevitably, we are won by frustration.
Here are some of the most common myths:
1. The soulmate exists, and one will reach fullness only from the moment one has found it
Often, we believe that our soulmate is waiting for us somewherethis person who will complete us, with whom we will always feel good, and with whom we can reach the fullness.
To claim to find a person who can allow us to reach our fullness is a mistakebecause, thinking in this way, we put on the shoulders of the other a too heavy responsibility: that of completing us.
Perfect and full love does not exist. By claiming that it does exist, the only thing we can do is frustrate ourselves and reap the sadness and the problems of the couple.
When conflicts arise within the couple, we automatically think that we are not with the right personand that we do not feel the same anymore as our companion.
From that moment, the relationship will become a problem for us, and we will opt for the quickest solution, namely to put an end to the relationship.
When we do not know what to do, we use this solution,while sometimes, there is a chance that the relationship will grow stronger, move forward, and mature in challenging situations.
The fact of maintaining a healthy relationship does not mean that one is constantly happy to the highest degree.
The difficult moments when commitment and communication are put to the test, are inevitable. This is the only way for a relationship to consolidate and mature.
2. My companion needs to know what I want without my having to say it
This is another common belief in most of us, and we rarely realize that this idea is absurd and very unrealistic.
Sometimes it is believed that our companion has divine powersand that he / she must know what one needs, what one wants and what one expects of him / her, without having to tell him.
If he / she does not realize it, we get excited, and then we enter a long journey punctuated by conflicts that deteriorate the relationship.
Little by little, by not expressing our needs, we are getting sicker ourselves by claiming that it is up to our companion / companion to realize it by him / herself.
3. Sexuality must be something spontaneous in the couple
Beliefs about what couples should look like are another well-known myth.
The romantic myth of thinking that everything must go without saying and that you have to give yourself at the right moment, is a fairy tale far from reality.
To have good sex, you have to communicate and exchange your tastes, opinions and beliefs about the subject.
It is important to learn together and to evolve the sexual relationship in the couple.
It is possible to propose new things, to innovate and to answer the call of the passion, if we respect the rhythm and the needs of each one.
Often, in the couple, circumstances dictate that sex should be planned, whether because of fatigue, lack of time, or a family life with children to manage.
Sometimes, if we wait until the sexual relations come spontaneously, we then repress our needs by letting the relationship cool down and fall into monotony.
4. Love is enough to solve the problems of torque
Love is necessary, but not enough for a relationship to be maintained in time.
Many other factors come into play, and the most important of them is the mutual attention of relationship and love.
In a couple, it is normal that sometimes conflicts break out. These are healthy, as long as they are conducted with respect and honesty.
Sometimes relationships can be filled with love, and yet, if you do not make the effort to maintain them, they may end up failing.
If the couple is not so important to both membersif there is no real involvement and if we do not consider the other as a priority, the chances that the couple will endure are slim.
All of these myths are for most of us deeply ingrained beliefs about what a couple should be. Even if we try to challenge them, it can be difficult to get rid of them.
To break with such beliefs and to forget one's automatisms requires a lot of effort, involvement and work on oneself.